crush the corpulent a.k.a. - fight the fat

A few weeks ago a wise woman said to me, "I noticed you say really bad stuff about yourself. You need to stop. Stop it." Seriously, those were her words. I respect this woman, I might even go as far as to say I admire her. She's calm, peaceful, loving, full of wisdom and strength. When she speaks, I make a point to listen. I've heard these words before, even from my husband (who I love, admire, and respect but OBVIOUSLY didn't listen to in this case - SHAME!), for whatever reason I thought he was just blind because he's crazy in love with me.

If you know me, you've heard me. I'm fat. I'm gross. I need to lose weight. I'm going to start this diet. I'm going to do this workout. Weight Watchers, P90X, Insanity, diet pills, boot camp, no sugar, everything in moderation, naturally slim, etc. BLAH BLAH BLAH. I've come full circle a million times. I care, I don't care, I care. It's a roller coaster up in here!

Each time I do this and then don't follow through, I spiral into this black hole of defeat. Somewhere along the way I've resigned myself to staying overweight. There it is, the ugly truth. Or it could be a crazy train.

I've also become increasingly concerned about the example this sets for my boys. What it tells them is important. How they watch me "set" goals (unrealistic of course) and then not stick to them. I don't want them to grow up thinking we allow life to happen to us rather than setting goals, sticking with it, and making changes.

But I OBVIOUSLY can't do it alone. I've asked others for accountability but then I just sort of stop e-mailing or showing up or whatever. That's where you and this blog come in. Here, I will lay it all out. The good, the bad, the ugly. Why? Because 1/2 of me wants to change but the other 1/2 that doesn't want to is fatter and bigger and meaner and likes things the way they are.

So will you read this blog and comment? So I know that people are expecting to hear from me daily? I'll figure out how to post my daily plan on a sidebar. I'll link recipes. I'll link anything I find on healthy eating or workouts, etc. Who knows? Maybe you'll find something useful or interesting. If not, maybe you'll just like to read it to know how the crazy half lives.